Thoughts – Betterthanfound

December 6, 2024

We hope you all are doing well!

Monday, we reopened our home for foster children (we have had an 18-month-old with us for a few months.) On Tuesday, we were approached about placing two children (most likely on the adoption track) with us. We agreed to take them, but we mentioned that if another family was available and interested in adopting, that would be a better option. As a result, those children were placed elsewhere.

We received another call late yesterday asking about placing two children with us. However, there were actually three siblings who would need to be split up. We couldn’t let them do it, so at 4 a.m. this morning, we welcomed a 4-year-old, a 7-year-old, and a 10-year-old from Amarillo into our home. Please pray for us! I am getting old, and our home just got noisy:)

Several folks have mentioned to us a version of “I just couldn’t do it, I would get too attached…” or “I just can’t imagine sending them off or back to some worse situation…”

There is a massive need for foster families. Texas currently needs 2,148 beds to meet the demand. Further, only 32% of children are placed in their home counties, and only 60.7% of sibling groups stay together.

The focus must be on the children. Yes, we become highly attached. I assure you that this old crusty construction worker sheds tears every time children leave our home. However, we would be wrong to focus on our breaking hearts. These children need a stable, supportive, and loving home that we provide in Christian service.

It is tough when they leave for an unknown situation. We serve within the government’s system. We must trust that God loves these children, is in control, and will provide for them.
Since we have little control over where these children may end up, it reinforces that we give them all our Christian love because it may need to last a while. We temporarily parent children who are confused, behind, neglected, etc. One of my life mottos is “Leave it better than you found it.” We aim to ensure these children are in much better shape when they leave than when we welcomed them into our family.

In short, it cannot be about me, you, or us. The focus must be on giving these children all of our Christian love. Hopefully, we strengthen children, leaving them Better than Found.

Approximately 18,000 Texas children are placed in foster care each year.

Of those, less than 40% go to other family members. That means that 11,000 Texas children are placed with nonfamily members each year. There is a chronic shortage of families willing to welcome neglected children into their homes. Last year, Texas needed 2,148 more beds than were available.

Courtney and I feel this situation is appalling for two main reasons:

First, these neglected children are innocent. They suffer daily due to the missteps of the people who should be looking out for them. We have welcomed 19 children into our home who have suffered from neglect, including a lack of supervision, proper clothing, and food. Most of these children experience family violence and illicit drug use (we have cared for several children under two who had cocaine or meth in their system.)

Second, there are 24.8 million adults in Texas, and 77% identify as Christian. We understand not every family is able or has the desire to foster, but if Christians believe in doing for the least of these (Matthew 25) and caring for orphans being undefiled religion (James 1), then how can Texas be short 2,148 beds for neglected and forgotten children?

Here are some ways you can help:

Be aware of the issue and share it with others.
Offer loving support to foster children, foster families, and birth parents. This support is critical if you have friends or family fostering children.
Volunteer and donate to the numerous nonprofits that serve the foster care community.
Provide respite care, which is babysitting for a few hours or more so that foster families can attend to personal matters, rest, and recharge.
Become a licensed foster home so your loving family can serve these neglected and forgotten children.

This problem can seem overwhelming; however, our family keeps it simple: We focus on giving these children all of our Christian love. Hopefully, we strengthen children, leaving them Better than Found.

P.S. Remember, every small action counts. We look forward to answering questions or assisting you in any way possible in serving these children. Together, we can make a difference.

We can be reached at 737-282-4402 or [email protected]